see this ladies blog

Read this woman's blog about forgiveness. As I have been working on moving my life to a place of peace & plenty for the past 8 years I am in her mental space and do believe it is about self forgiveness. It is pointless to try and forgive someone. If you choose or choose not to have a person in your life it will depend on your level of self forgiveness not whether you forgive them or not.

Most likely I can never feel a real forgiveness for the life I was forced to live. But I can decide the level of forgiveness I give out and whether I want the person in my life or not. If I choose to have them in my life I better be clear on that. I better be clear on how I feel about them.

Perhaps it is more a feeling of neutral. If I can come to neutral then I can just see them for who they are and try to understand why they did what they did. That way forgiving them can happen or not but it is not critical. Maybe for me it is more important to understand than to forgive. I like to know what motivates people.

Forgive yourself. Just forgive yourself and start making the changes you need to make to be happy.

Anyhoo this lady says it way better than I can. It is this post that is so true and healing. If you go to her blog you can read it and for me I think I will bookmark it so I can read again and again.

BlogHer 09 - My Community Keynote Reading

you also watch her video.